Thumb wrestling
by strawhat-alchemist
Summary: Mukuro learns a new technique for thumb wrestling from Yamamoto. He finds that it is effective but what happens when he uses it against Byakuran? Crack fic NO PAIRINGS! huge OOC-ness!


Shiki: RANDOM CRACK FIC FOR THE WIN! I OWN NOTHING! ENJOY~!

* * *

Mukuro walked into the most popular hangout for the Vongola's guardians.

Sawada Tsunayoshi's house.

He walked in and encountered Gokudera and Yamamoto thumb wrestling.

"EWWW! FOO! THAT AIN'T COOL!" Gokudera said while pulling his hand away.

Yamamoto smiled sheepishly and said "I won! Hah! Bitch!"

Gokudera stood up and said "Bitch! Wanna take it outside!?"

"Bring it!" Yamamoto said while standing up.

They walked outside and grunting and screaming was heard.

Things along the lines of "Foo! Put that sword away! No weapons!" and "You son of a-" and that's when the screaming started.

Yamamoto dusted his hands off and walked in.

Mukuro gave him a "WTF?" look and then said "What'd you do?"

Yamamoto smiled and said "I took my sword and f*cked up Gokudera cuz he's an asshole."

Mukuro's eyes widened and then he said "Uh no…I meant the thumb wrestling."

'_I guess even he has an evil side…'_ Mukuro thought.

"Oh easy! Shamal told me this one! It goes…" Yamamoto whispered his secret 'technique' to Mukuro.

Mukuro smirked. "Oh I see."

Yamamoto smiled and said "Now if you don't mind," he pulled out a big garbage bag "I have a body to dispose of."

Mukuro watched him as he went outside and picked up Gokudera's body and stuffed it into the black bag.

'_Poor kid…really f*cked up in the head.'_ Mukuro thought.

Just then Kyoko walked in living room.

"Oh it's you! The girl almost every yaoi fangirl in the hitman reborn community hates!" Mukuro said.

She gave him a look and said "What?"

"No. Nothing." Mukuro said.

"Moron! No one must know of the fan fiction community!" Tsuna said.

"F*ck you uke man!" Mukuro said.

"I should pimp slap you! But I can't ruin the merchandise!" Tsuna said while putting on his pimpin hat.

"Hello Tsuna-kun." Kyoko said.

"Shut up hoe!" Tsuna said.

Reborn hit him over the head. "Be polite pimp-in-training!"

"YOU SHOULD EXTREMELY SHUT UP! WANNABE PIMP!" Ryohei yelled at him.

Everyone stared at him with wide eyes.

"Where'd you come from?" Tsuna asked.

"Front door." Ryohei said.

They sat on the couch and looked bored.

"Wanna thumb wrestle?" Mukuro said, seeing the opportunity to use his newly learned 'skill'.

"Sure." Kyoko answered.

They joined their hands and Mukuro began by quickly saying "One, two, three, four I declare a thumb war,"

Kyoko was going to begin but noticed Mukuro say "Five, six, seven, eight, I used this hand to masturbate!"

Kyoko pulled her hand away and said "Eww!!"

Mukuro 'Kufufu'd' at his victory and said "Hah! Bitch I won!"

Just then Byakuran walked in with a bag of marshmallows.

"What the fuck!?" Mukuro said.

"Ack! That wannabe pimp be coming into my territory!" Tsuna exclaimed while getting his new pimped out X-gloves. (They were really just bedazzled.)

"Hey there dawg!" Byakuran said.

"The fuck man! I thought I got a restraining order on you! Boyz!" Mukuro said.

Suddenly Ken and Chikusa appeared from nowhere.

Byakuran laughed and said "No son, you didn't get it validated. Writing 'restraining order' on a receipt from Wal-mart isn't a restraining order."

"…Your mom isn't a restraining order!" Ken said.

"You know what your face!" Byakuran said.

Ken sniffed. "Words hurt."

"Deal with it. You too emo! Go cut yourself somewhere!" Byakuran said to Chikusa.

Chikusa patted Ken on the shoulder as they walked out the door.

Byakuran had his creepy ass smile plastered on his face.

'_Damn is this foo blown __**(1)**__ or something?'_ Mukuro thought.

"How about we thumb wrestle?" Byakuran asked.

"Fine but if I win you have to LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE!!!" Mukuro yelled.

"Fine! Yeesh take a chill pill." Byakuran said.

"Yeah like you did earlier…" Mukuro muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Byakuran said.

"I said YOU'RE A FREAKING STONER!" Mukuro yelled.

"…Why'd you yell it?"

"…why not?"

"Touché." Byakuran said while taking a seat.

They joined their hands and said "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war,"

Mukuro continued on to say "Five, six, seven, eight, I used this hand to masturbate!"

Expecting Byakuran to pull his hand away he thought he had already won but instead Byakuran smiled even more and said "What a coincidence? I did too!"

It was silent in the room until Mukuro let out a yell.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Mukuro yelled so loud Yamamoto probably heard it at the river.

_---With Yamamoto---_

He put down his shovel.

"Hmm someone must've done something nasty to Mukuro." He said.

"Yeah or he saw your moms face." Gokudera said.

Yamamoto said "Aww that's so messed u- HOLY CRAP!"

Gokudera smirked and hit him over the head with a shovel.

"OG **(2)** bitch!" he said while walking away.

_---Back with Mukuro---_

"OH GAWD YOU NASTY BASTARD!!!!!" Mukuro said while pointing at him in a very Phoenix Wright style.

Byakuran smiled and said "I have things to do."

"…EW! I DIDN'T WANNA KNOW!" Tsuna yelled.

"No you silly boy. But you're welcome to join." Byakuran said as he walked away.

"…PURELL!!!!!" Mukuro yelled as he ran out of the door, holding his hand by the wrist as if it were on fire.

Reborn turned to Tsuna and said "So who wants to blaze **(3)** it?"

Then the whole day Mukuro went running around town looking for Purell and Ryohei sang the Pokémon theme song for Hana for some weird ass reason.

The end.

* * *

Shiki: Okay time for a key for those who don't know!

Ikuto: **(1) **Blown basically means high. As in "He smoked the good stuff and was high."

Amu: **(2) **OG basically stands for Original Gangster.

Dino: And my bitches **(3) **he's basically asking who wants to get high.

Shiki: And _'Purell'_ is a brand of hand sanitizers. And 'bedazzle' is a thing to add rhinestones to stuff! Hope you enjoyed this product of my friend telling me that while we thumb wrestled.

Dino: Nasty bastard…

Shiki: I know!

R&R!!!


End file.
